


Dream SMP! Grocery Store Incorrect Quotes

by Skyla_Crescents



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: A little bit of Soft Dream, Bad Puns, Depressed Purpled, Dirty Jokes, Fun, Good Friend Darryl Noveschosch, Grayson | Purpled-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Incorrect Quotes, Karens are not allowed, Kids going insane, King Eret (Video Blogging RPF), M/M, Minecraft, Platonic Flirting, Platonic Soulmates, Platonic Soulmates Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Protective Cara | CaptainPuffy, Purpled is done with life itself, Sarcasm, Sarcastic Purpled, Soft Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Tired Purpled, Tubbo moments, Vines
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:29:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29640957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyla_Crescents/pseuds/Skyla_Crescents
Summary: IncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIncorrectQuotesIn
Relationships: Antfrost/VelvetIsCake (Video Blogging RPF), Kristin Rosales Watson/Phil Watson
Comments: 9
Kudos: 106





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [getouttamyswamp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/getouttamyswamp/gifts).



> Feel Free to make your own in the comments :D

**Ranboo** : Why are you smiling?

**Purpled** : What? Can't I just be happy?

**Tubbo** : Tommy tripped and fell in the parking lot

///////

**Tommy** : She was poetry but he couldn't read

**Purpled** : His names Jared 19

**Sammy** : When his parents built a very strange machine

**Tubbo** : Watch that scene digging the dancing queen

**Drista** : AYY MACARENA

**Lani** : _*Plays Trumpet*_

**Ranboo** : terrible Job everyone.

////////////

**Wilbur** : You remind me of the Ocean

**Eret** : Explain.

**Wilbur** : So Fucking salty

/////////

**Purpled** : I don't know how people can look at a newborn and say it looks just like their parents.

**Purpled** : Like Bitch no, It looks like a piece of fucking ham.

**Customer** : Um...can I have that chocolate?

///////

**Tommy** : What are you gonna do stab me?

**Purpled** : _*takes out a knife and stabs Tommy*_

**Ranboo** : Yes, Yes it seems he will.

///////

**Ranboo** : Tale as old as time...

**Tubbo** : MEMES AS OLD AS VINE

**Lani** : Beauty and The-

**Tommy** : _*Throwing Purpled across the room*_ :YEET

**Purpled** : _*Crashes through a wall*_ OH YEAH!  
  


**Sammy** : oh meh gawd he on X-games mode

**Ranboo** : God give me one good day

**Drista falling through the ceiling** : Oh my god! You again? Give it a rest buddy!

//////

**Purpled/Ranboo** : I panic when someone Compliments me

**Purpled/Ranboo** : LIKE WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

**Customer** : I LIKE YOUR TIE/HOODIE!

**Purpled/Ranboo Panicking** : UH- I- MERRY HALLOWEEN

///////

**Phil** : _*Starts dying*_

**Wilbur** : QUICK CALL 911!

**Tommy** : Whats there number??

**Phil** : _*Temporarily stops dying*_ WHATS THERE NUMBER? REALLY?!

///////

**Sapnap, opening a caprisun** : I guess thy shalth drink all my awayth!

/////

**George** : * _Opening Freezer_ *

**Purpled** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-

**George** : * _Closes Freezer_ * Anyways

//////

**Everyone** : * _Acting out the wars_ *

**Purpled** : * _Watching and eating chips_ *

//////

Minors doing Homework

**Tommy** : Chemistry? More like Che- _mystery_ , because I have no idea what the fuck is going on.

Ranboo: Calculus? More like Cal- _kill_ -us cause a piece of my sanity dies with every question

**Tubbo** : Biology? More like _BYE_ -logy because I'm out!

**Purpled** : Math? More like **no**. 

////

**Quackity** : Oh Sorry I fell asleep while I was waitin on you to make me a sandwich!

**BBH** : Go back to sleep.

**BBH** : And **_STARVE_**.

//////

**Ant** : I'm gay.

**Eret** : I'm bi.

**Minx** : I am actually pansexual.

**Tubbo running through isles with feathers stuck to him** : I'M A BIRD CAW CAW

////////

SOMETHING FROM DISCORD

**Tommy** : YOUR 6'6"?

**Ranboo** : Ye

**Tubbo** : * _Trying to reach the top shelf_ *

ORIGINAL (PLUS SOMETHING ABOUT ME)

Friend: Wait your 6'8"?

Me: Ye

Other friend: And Sarahs still trying to reach the top shelf


	2. PART 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ADD YOUR OWN QUOTES IN THE COMMENT

AU By: Getouttamyswamp

Please feel free to make your own quotes in the comments! 

• **• <>~~~<{💜}>~~~<>•**•

Hi I'm Sky! I Mainly write Purpled centric things!

═════════•°• •°•═════════

⚠️❗ **TW** ❗⚠️

Swearing!

Mentions of Depression

Mentions of Car Crash

Mentions of Robbery

Mentions of Guns

Mentions of Shooting

* * *

**Purpled** : Welcome to DSMP grocery store thanks for bringing your fucking kids.

· **· ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── ·** ·

**Punz** : YOU GOT THIS **SAP** MAKE THEM WAIT FOR IT!

**Sapnap** : _*Turns around with a face covered in glitter*_

☆。*。☆。

★。＼｜／。★

 **Punz** : BOOM!

★。／｜＼。★

☆。*。☆。

♫♪.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.♫♪

**Karen** : I-

**Dream** : GET OUT!

**Punz** : LEAVE!

**Dream** : RIGHT NOW ITS THE END OF YOU!

**❀** ⊱ **┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄** ⊰ **❀**

**Tubbo** : In the meat isle pointing at duck meat: Look at all those chickens!

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

**Skeppy** : PRONOUNCING FRUIT ITEMS INCORRECTLY!

**Skeppy** pointing at a pineapple: PENAPEEPLE

**Skeppy** balancing a Papaya on his head: PAPAAYA

**Skeppy** holding a banana: BAHNAYNAYS

**Skeppy** under a table with cantaloupes: Canaileopes

**Skeppy** with a Champagne Mango basket: Camapane guose

**Skeppy** looking at Durians : WHAT THE?

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

**Ant** to **Skeppy** : Hey I'm gay

**Skeppy** : ???

**Skeppy** : I thought you were American?

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

**Quackity** to repeating _Snowman_ : Hail Satan!

_Snowman_ : Hail Satan!

**Sapnap** : *Dying in the background*

°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°l||l°

**Skeppy** : AH!

**Bad** : STAHP I COULD'VE DROPPED MY MUFFIN!  
  


 **Skeppy** : PFFT-

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

**Customer** : And they were roommates!

**Purpled** mockingly: oMg ThEy WeRe RoOmMaTeS!

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

**Customer** : I NEED TO SEE YOUR MANAGER!

**Purpled** : My Manager?

**Purpled** : Okay one second

**Purpled** into intercom: Hey **Dream** some bitch wants to see you.

(IM SO TIRED OF WRITING DIVIDERS)

___________

_Fire Alarm going off_ : 

**Purpled** : _*Posing each time it beeps*_

* * *

• **• <Δ>{KID INCORRECT QUOTE TIME}<Δ>•**•

* * *

**Tommy** : I got grounded for a whole week just because I came home late.

**Purpled** : Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again.

* * *

**Tubbo** : _*Answers phone*_ Hello?

 **Tommy** : It's **Tommy**.

 **Tubbo** : What did he do this time?

 **Tommy** : No, it's me, **Tommy**. It's actually me.

 **Tubbo** : What did you do this time?

* * *

**Tommy** : I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgement or criticism 

**Purpled** : And you came to me?

* * *

**Ranboo** : Whats wrong with you?

**Purpled** : Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack a paternal affection and notice, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression!

* * *

**Tommy** : Can you be quiet!? I'm trying to think.

**Purpled** : Don't worry, doing anything for the first time is difficult!

* * *

**Tubbo** , texting **Ranboo** : a theif.

**Ranboo** : Thief?

**Tubbo** : Theif.

**Ranboo** : I before E except after C.

**Tubbo** : Thceif.

**Ranboo** : No.

* * *

**BBH** : Name a way to be nice to others!

**Purpled** : Don't kill them.

**BBH** : Setting the bar a little low, but I'll allow it....

* * *

AFTER LOSING **TUBBO**

**Purpled** : **Ranboo** if you were **Tubbo** , where would you go?

**Ranboo** : Is it possible to enter the color beige?

* * *

**Ranboo** : Just be yourself, say something nice!

**Tommy** : Which one? I can't do both.

* * *

**Tubbo** : I have edge!

**Ranboo** : You really don't. You are the literally most wide-eyed person I've ever seen. You have the face of a cartoon lamb.

* * *

**Tubbo** : So I said to myself: **Kyle** -

**Tommy** : Wait, **Kyle**?

**Tubbo** : That's what I call myself.

* * *

**Tubbo** : Is 4 a lot?

**Purpled** : Depends on the context. Berries? No. Murders? Yes.

* * *

**Purpled** : Before I do anything, I ask myself, would **Tommy** do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.

* * *

**Purpled** : I'm sorry for all the shit I said.

**Tommy** : _And_ punching me in the face?

**Purpled** : No, you most _definitely_ deserved that.

* * *

**Ranboo** : Looks like we're on to Plan B!

**Tubbo** : _Technically_ , this would be Plan G!

**Tommy** : How many fucking plans do we have?! Is there like Plan M?!

**Ranboo** : Yeah, but **Purpled** dies in Plan M.

**Purpled** : I like Plan M.

* * *

**Mumza** : If you took a shot for every bad decision you made, how drunk would you be?

**Ranboo** : Sober

**Purpled** : A bit Tipsy

**Tubbo** : Drunk

**Tommy** : I'd be fucking dead.

**Purpled** to **Tommy** : Lucky.

* * *

{END OF INCORRECT QUOTES WITH THE KIDS}  
  
  


BACK TO THE REGULAR ONES

* * *

**Dream** : What if I pour coffee in my cereal instead of milk?

**Ant** , walking by and taking the coffee pot: And what if you don't?

**Dream** : Ah! That's okay we still have orange juice!

* * *

**Phil** : _*sighing*_ I hope you 4 have a good explanation for this.

**Tommy** : We have three actually!

**Tubbo** : _*Holding three cards of different color*_ Pick your favorite!

* * *

**Dream** : Hey **Puffy**!

**Puffy** : Yeah?

**Dream** : I made you a friendship bracelet!

**Puffy** : You know, I'm not really a jewelry person.

**Dream** : Oh, well you don't have to wear-

**Puffy** : _noimgonnawearitforeverbackoff-_

(Translation: no i'm gonna wear it forever back off)

* * *

**Tommy** : You guys think I could fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

**Ranboo** : You are a hazard to society.

**Purpled** : And a coward, do 20.

**Tubbo** : _*Running to the candy isle to get marshmallows*_

* * *

**Tubbo** : I brought you a nice, hot cup of coffee!

**Ranboo** : It's cold.

**Tubbo** : I brought you a nice cup of coffee!

**Ranboo** : It tastes horrible.

**Tubbo** : Cup of Coffee!

**Ranboo** : I'm not even sure this _IS_ coffee.

**Tubbo** : Cup.

**Ranboo** : That's a bowl....

**Tubbo** : I still tried to make one coffee at least!  
  


 **Ranboo** : YOU BROUGHT TWO?

**Tubbo** :.....

* * *

**Purpled** , pointing at **Eret** : Dis a king

**Purpled** , pointing at **Dream** : Dis a blob

**Purpled** , pointing at **Phil** : dis a dad

**Purpled** , pointing at **Techno** : Dis a pig

**Purpled** , pointing at **Fundy** : Dis a Furry

**Purpled** , pointing at **himself** : Disappointment!

**Puffy** : **PURPLED** nO-

* * *

(This one is A Conversation I had on discord with my friends!)

**Velvet** visits the store!

**Velvet** : I don't like **Ants** trousers.

**Ant** : That's okay cutie-

**Velvet** : But I like what's _underneath_ them~

**Ant** : 0///0

**Velvet** : ;)

**Dream** : 😀🔫

**George** : ರ_ರ

**Quackity** :💀

**Puffy** : 👁️👄👁️

**BBH** : His legs?

**Velvet** : nO

**BBH** : I don't get it; his feet?

**Quackity** : I'm gonna tell him.

* * *

  
  


**Tubbo** , apologizing : ..-/....-.-.-.

**Purpled** : What was that?

**Tubbo** : Remorse code.

**Purpled** : I am going to throw myself out a window.

* * *

**Sam** : **Ponk** , what's your most prized possession?

**Ponk** : You

* * *

Feel Free to make your own in the comments! :D


	3. UPDATE

I'm so sorry for not updating!

I've been backed up with requests on all my oneshot books!

I'll try to get back to this as soon as possible!

Again I'm so very sorry!🧡

**Author's Note:**

> Make your own in the comments! Make as many as you want! :D


End file.
